Thursday, 7 June 2012

My Earliest Fantasies About Tights And Cross-Dressing

Whilst the very first tights I wore were a pair of my mother's 15 denier brown ones, the very first tights that I bought were thick, woollen, made for children and primary coloured. In fact, they were green, the exact bottle green colour that girls at my primary school wore for their uniform everyday. Later, I'll write the story of how I came to buy them, but I've had a spare hour tonight and so I thought I'd commit to the blog and share a few memories of my very distant earlier childhood when my obsession with tights was still in utero.


If you look back through my entries from June last year onwards, I've written about my initial awareness and interest in the girls' tights at school. When I got a little older, I eventually enabled a scenario and opportunity to buy some tights of my own as I was so desperate and curious to wear some for myself.

As I've written before, I didn't have a sister and so the only contact I had with tights was with my mother's generous collection of proper tights - nylon pantyhose that was always 15 denier or 20 denier and invariably in brown, navy or barely-black. These were very different from the tights the girls at my school wore.

I sat next to, or very close to a girl wearing thick green woollen tights every day from the age of five onwards. School uniforms back then were strict and girls didn't get to wear trousers, even in the cold - and neither did boys get the chance to wear tights, sadly. Whilst this was just the beginning of a fascination and it was not sexualised at this point, I did still have the change to look closely at the way the tights looked on my female friends' legs and I spent hours wondering what they must feel like to wear, creating elaborate fantasies where I'd be forced into wearing a pair.


One fantasy had my shorts ripping in the classroom on a day when the other boys in my class happened to out on a a school trip to a football game. With nothing else at school to protect my modesty or keep me warm, the teacher had to turn to the girls in the class and improvise on my behalf. Her solution was to borrow a pair of new green tights and a spare dark green skirt from a girl in the class, to stop me getting cold or be exposed on the walk home. She reassured me that everything would be fine and I had nothing to be embarrassed about, and, indeed, in the fantasy I was allowed to wear the female clothes without any fear of humiliation all the way home until bedtime.  It's telling in the fantasy that only my mum was at home and my dad was away on business.

I played this dream over and over in my head, building up the detail until I had experienced every second of the school day in the tights; and every moment at home in them too - imagining the thrill of wearing them on the sofa in front of the TV and wearing them down the street on the way home. I even imagined the pleasure of walking alongside the girls from my class through the school gates, looking at their legs and then looking down at my own, also wrapped tightly in dark green fabric. Even at the ages of five, six, seven and eight, these fantasies were very enticing and exciting, and as I look back it's astonishing to see how complex and sophisticated they were and how I'd formulated them at such a young age.

I would create variations, where the girl who I'd borrowed them from would run out to her mother at the schoolgates and then point back in my direction. Her mother would speak to my mum with a great big smile, (obviously mentioning my skirt) and when I reached her the little girl at the gates would tell me that it was fine for me to keep the clothes forever. I'd skip home happily (all in my mind, of course) and be able to keep them on all day, and my mother would even allow me to keep them in the 'dressing-up box' so that I could wear them again later if I wanted to, for fun. In real life, I didn't have a 'dressing-up box' as this was far too girlie a thing for a boy, but I created this in my mind as a way of legitimising the cross-dressing that I was so keen to do, and keep doing whenever I wanted.


Another thing I prayed for (literally) was being made to wear some tights for a costume in the school play, and I would dream of being made to wear tights for a play or fancy dress party over and over again. I once spent an entire evening staring up at the stars after I'd gone to bed, praying over and over for the chance to be an angel in that year's school play. I'd seen all of the girls in class pulling on white tights and a robe to be angels, and I longed so much to be able to do this for myself. This was back before I'd had the idea of wearing my mother's tights, and so as a virgin, so to speak, I looked up to heavens on a cold December night and spent hour after hour praying that God would give me a chance to wear some tights for myself. My prayers would be answered in good time.


Once, when I was about five or six, I was forced to stay in the classroom at morning break because I had a cold or a cough.  I was with two other boys and a girl.  We were sitting on one of the tabletops with our legs hanging over the edge, and one of the boys made mention of the girl's tights, and he was obviously curious about them himself.  I don't recall the exact words and don't want to fashion a half-truth, but I do recall us talking about the girls having to wear tights to school every day. The girl mentioned that she also had to wear brown tights when she went horse riding, and that her brother had to wear them too - and so boys did wear tights sometimes, just not to school.

I remember being very excited by the thought, (If I go horse riding I can wear some tights! Yes! This is something I can do without any fear of humiliation!) but the excitement was short lived.

Coincidentally some show jumping was on TV about a fortnight later and my mother asked if I liked the look of it. I gave a very positive reply. Why wouldn't I? Sure enough, the girls on the horses on TV were wearing light brown tights, as well as red jackets. If I went riding, would I be able to wear them too? My excitement was becoming unbearable, the blood pounding in my ears. This seemed too good to be true, but perhaps this was my chance at last and it had been there as a safe option all along.

I thought that I'd found the legitimate way of wearing my beloved tights at last. Of course, in reality I'd confused the appearance of jodhpurs with tights, and the girl in my class had done exactly the same. It's an understandable mistake since some riding jodhpurs can be very close-fitting, especially on women, and this was in the early seventies before the arrival of leggings and footless tights. It's easy to see how a child with an inexperienced eye could mistake the two. Most significantly, as I've discovered time and again, to virtually all women and girls as they're growing up, tights are no more significant or remarkable than a pair of socks are for myself. Whilst my obsessive eye was aware of the difference between tight jodhpurs and tights, the difference to a girl might well have been indistinguishable.


I'm amazed today that my 'eye' for spotting tights is far more accurate that my wife's, and she's a girl who enjoys wearing and choosing her tights. I can usually discern the difference between leggings, footless tights, thick woollen or ribbed tights and real nylon opaques at 50 feet away; whilst my wife might sometimes remark that she likes the design of a pair of tights she's spotted a lady wearing in town or in a shop and not know the difference at all. It's amazing that I can glance up and spot that they're actually leggings that she's admired, but my wife, even being female and having worn tights for real for nearly 40 years can't see the difference. Sometimes I've corrected her and got a special look in response, the glance that communicates to me that she knows I'm looking at them as only a tranny can.


My mum went on straight away to discuss the possibility of riding lessons, saying that she'd need to borrow some jodhpurs from her friend's son who was already taking lessons.  I remember asking what jodhpurs were, and my mum immediately responded by telling me that they were riding trousers.  

Trousers. Not tights, after all. I asked if the professional ladies riding on the TV were in jodhpurs, and my my mum said yes, they were riding trousers. As nice as I thought they looked, the attraction disappeared completely at that moment, and so did my enthusiasm for horse riding, strangely enough. I had one 30 minute lesson and was so timid that I never returned!


To finish, and to celebrate the end of Spring, here are some lovely blonde girlies wearing some even more colourful and attractive coloured tights. If I could dress in female clothes for Spring, this would be my choice of outfit each and every day! Who's your favourite, and who would you like to be? Let me know, please!


Jaime Xdress said...

I remember my first experience wearing tights was stealing a pair of my mom's old nude pantyhose and slipping them onto my legs. I was around 7 or 8 and had found an old rolled-up rug secured by a pantyhose rope. I undid the knot to the "nylon" rope and slipped the pair of pantyhose onto my legs and I was hooked. I was curious at that age and had been influenced by Joe Namath pantyhose commercials and TV shows with robbers slipping pantyhose over their heads to conceal their identities.

Of the young blonde beauties I would choose the first girl. She looks so cute and sexy in her red tights and tight shorts. Mmmm though I think it would be even better with a tight short skirt or dress which would be my preference.

Ribbed Tights said...

I've followed your blog for quite a while now and am pleased that you are going to continue it.

Your story regarding jodhpurs made me chuckle as I had a similar experience when I was around 11. At this point I had been secretly wearing my mums tights for about a year and had become obsessed with finding out whether other boys had similar feelings to myself or whether other boys also wore tights.

One year whilst watching Olympia at Christmas I caught sight of what looked like both boys and girls wearing white tights with just white shirts and ties and a coloured bib to denote their team. They were competing in the mounted games and I remember my heart jumping when I thought that they were all wearing tights. Alas, it was not to be and I too discovered they were just jodhpurs, the bottoms often fastened tightly beneath their boots to keep a neat appearance.

However, it is not uncommon now to find that both boys and girls wear tights underneath their jodhpurs to keep warm during winter.

Warm And Tight said...

Short sorry about language skills, english is my third language, and not so sure how much I should explain background, to keep this as informative as possible.

School plays and tights. When and where I grow up it was rather hard to avoid that. There should be lots of memories back in those days.

I think that it was my first Christmas play at school and all first grade kids was ordered to be either angels or snowflakes cant remember witch one.

Our costumes wasn't that special. Probably made out teachers old white curtains. Now thing that I remember clearly was last dress rehearsals for school play. Our old male teacher who was famous to be angry and scary. Announced that everyone needs to wear white tights at school play or all who don't obey his rules will get bad numbers on report cards and will get detention.

So I got white cotton/lycra tights. Either my mom bought them for occasion, or I got one gift from auntie. (that would be whole another story.) So it must be my mum to teach me how to dress tights without ruining them, and I remember how I got tights under my jeans when going to school and I liked them. Warm soft and more nicely fitting than those thermal undies that boys needs to use. It was proper winter at that time. Lots of snow and everything.

And most important after that I was clear minded what I want. I preferred Tights over long undies. I want use tights.

This is how I remember that horrible garment. To keep boys warm back in days.

In school I was thrilled about moment, I was expecting everyone wearing tights. Maybe all other boys has find out same that what I felt, and they would prefer tights more than those unspeakable horrors. So we all can be one big happy tights family after that.

Well every girl did wear them. They got mainly plain ones or patterns, but still warm white winter fashion. But all other boys was wearing almost everything that you can imagine but I was only one with tights. At least white ones.

No boy didn't say anything or laughed. Instead they was staring at me. I was traitor. If some boy will get detention or bad number at they report card that would be my fault.

Our teacher didn’t yell or put anyone detention. Instead he just organises that I was standing middle of front row between girls and all rest of boys was standing second row. Even my dad was proud of me to stand middle of front row. But never dared to tell him why.

And after that I got feeling that I'm not like other boys and got picked last at sports teams.

Anonymous said...

Im a 33 year old man, 100% straight and basically a womeniser. But I have a really big fetish and love for tights, it has become a really frustrating part of my life. My love for tights started as early as the age of 6, which is my first memory when I could see up my first teachers skirt and was absolutely amazed and looked forward to seeing up her skirt every day. From then on ive had this obsession ever since which has nearly got me caught many times stealing women's tights, skirts, stockings and high heels. Ive even started buying them now and have a large range of clothing. Will someone please tell me if this is ok behaviour or I have a weird obsession?